Tobi's New Kitten
by LaikaTheWolf
Summary: When Tobi finds a kitten it's all hell for Deidara. This is total Deidara bashing! Comment and Review!
1. Chapter 1

"Hurry up, we're going to be late," Deidara snapped at his partner Tobi.

"Coming Deidara-sempai!" Tobi said walking faster, in the back of his mind he was saying, "Shut the hell up Deidara."

They walked on the abandoned road trying to get back to base before dark, which wasn't far off. Tobi was getting bored.

Deidara stopped walking, "I'm going to go to the bathroom, stay here DO NOT follow me. I don't care for what reason." Then he walked off into the trees.

Tobi sat down, "stupid pushy ass-hole," He mumbled to himself crossing his legs. "Just wait until I take over..."

"Meow?"

Tobi looked down to see a little black and white kitten sitting at his feet, it pawed at the hem of his cloak.

Tobi tried to shoo the animal away, "Begone you little animal," He waved his hand, but the kitten just played with the tips of his fingers. The kitten looked at Tobi, he was blind in one eye.

"Meow" squeaked the kitten as it climbed into Tobi's lap. It then curled and fell asleep purring.

"Well," Tobi said looking at the cat," I guess I can't just leave you, you're just like me."

Deidara came through the tree's and Tobi jumped up.

"Look Deidara-sempai, I found a kitty!" He showed Deidara carefully making sure not to wake it up.

Deidara looked at him blankly,"You're not bringing it with us."

"But why!" Tobi wailed.

"Shut up, un, Because I said so."

"Well Tobi is going to ask the leader when we get back."

Deidara shrugged, "Whatever."

"I'm going to call you Neko." Tobi whispered to the still sleeping kitten.

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When they got back to the hide out Tobi went straight to the leader. "Can Tobi keep this kitten?" He asked point blank.

The leader looked at the now awake kitten, then at Tobi.

"Can you take care of it?" he asked.

Tobi nodded vigiorously.

"That means he has to be fed and watered everyday, played with," the leader stated," his litter-box needs to be cleaned everyday."

Tobi nodded faster

"OK, you can keep him."

"Thank you Leader," Tobi said excited, and ran outside to tell Deidara.

"Lookie Deidara-sempai, Leader said yes," Tobi gloated to him, Traslation, "ha, bitch, I told you he'd say yes."

Deidara paled, he didn't like cats, and cats didn't like him.

Neko seemed to know this because as soon as Tobi held him out to Deidara he lunged for his face.

"Tobi! Get this cat off my face" Deidara screamed as Neko did massie damage to his pretty face.

"Aww but Deidara-sempai, he just likes you." Tobi cooed, but in the back of his mind he was laughing hysterically, "thats what you get you ass."

After a few minutes Tobi finally pulled the kitten off of Deidara's face. The kitten clinged to Tobi as Deidara stood up and yelled at Tobi!

"LOOK AT WHAT YOUR STUPID CAT DID TO MY FACE!!" Deidara screamed,"i OUGHT TO SKIN YOU AND THAT CAT ALIVE!"

Neko just looked at him and extended his claws at him, Deidara shut up and walked away quickly.

Tobi laughed, "Thats a good kitty," he whispered petting Neko.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next day Deidara hid in his room, his face looked like it went through a blender. He looked out the window, the other Akatsuki members were outside playing with the kitten.

"How can they not see how evil that cat is!" He groweld shutting the curtins. He then started coming up with plans to get rid of it.

Neko sat on Tobi's shoulder, his favorite place to sit, he loved people, just not Deidara he would do anything in his little power to fuck with him.

Tobi put a bowl of food down for Neko and patted his little head. " I'm going to go do Tobi stuff, be good now!"

"Meow" Neko purred innocently but as soon as Tobi was out of sight the little kitten went on the hunt for 'bigger' prey, namely Deidara. He padded down the hall sniffing around. HE stopped at Deidara's room, he then used his nose to open the door. Deidara was sleeping soundly on his bed.

Neko slowly creeped up and took a pouncing position He took careful aim and lunged at the sleeping figure. He landed directly on Deidara's backside and started biting and clawing.

"OMG! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Deidara screamed jumping up and running around the room with Neko still attached to his ass.

Tobi came in,"What's going on?" He saw the kitten, " awww, he's playing with you Deidara-sempai."

"GET YOUR DAMN CAT OFF MY ASS!" Deidara yelled at Tobi

"come here Neko," Tobi cooed detaching the kitten from Deidara.

"Get out of my room!"

Tobi walked out with Neko glaring at Deidara over his shoulder

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Deidara spent the next day coming up with ideas to get rid of Tobi's new kitten. He looked out his door, he saw Itatchi petting the little demon.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed to himself, "It even got to Itatchi!" He shut the door again and started pacing, he made a small clay bird in his left hand, he stopped to look at it and he came up with a diabolical plan.

He tipped toed into the kitcken and placed the clay bird infused with explosive chakra in the middle of the floor. Then he tipped back out into the hall.

Neko padded around the corner and seen the bird, Deidara made the bird move a little, Neko got ready to pounce and then leaped onto the bird and swallowed it whole.

"gotcha!" Deidara squealed as he made the bird blow up in the cat's stomach. The only thing that happened was that the cat burped up smoke,"The damn cat must have a cast iron stomach," Deidara exclaimed, Neko then grinned at Deidara and collapesed on the ground and started wailing! It was fake but the whole house rushed in to see what happened.

They saw the cat wailing on the floor and Deidara standing over him.

"Fuck,"Deidara muttered to himself,"You win again cat."

The residents of the house started to beat him.

Tobi picked up Neko and laughed, "Good boy," Toci knew that the cat was faking, but it was so amusing to see Deidara get beaten.


End file.
